Pregnancy brings about so many feelings that run through your mind.
I couldn't believe we were having our 5th. Number five!
It seemed surreal. I have always wanted a lot of kids, but wanting and living it are two very different things. But, I wish I could of saw what today would look like back then.
I was excited to be pregnant and knew he or she would be great, but I didn't realize how great. I didn't realize that I would finally have that "she is my last one so I am going to enjoy everything" feeling. I didn't feel sad as I nursed my 4th child for the last time. Maybe I knew. I knew he wouldn't be my last.
And now I enjoy my moments. She is up all night, but before long she won't be. And when I nurse her for the 4th time in the middle of the night, I am all too aware that my nursing days are numbered. I think back 14 years when my mom sat with me while I nursed my first child and said how great it is. And I took it for granted.
The funny thing is that even at their young ages, the older 4 seem to understand that she is our last baby and they enjoy her everyday. They cherish her laughs, they all want to hold her and maybe they already understand what I didn't in my early adulthood. And for that and for this little girl, we are all blessed.