This has probably driven the husband crazy over the years.
But, you know how it goes- you want the best.
Sometimes I wish I was never exposed to any other type of schooling.
I would of just sent the kids to public school, like I went to, the husband went to and pretty much everyone else I know.
But, it just sounded so scary.
I saw some pretty wild things at school and that was always in the back of my mind.
I had some pretty great friends though- some aquaintances I could of done without, but some friends who stuck by me and still do today.
I had some wonderful teachers. And some great opportunities. I don't know if I would be who I am today without the opportunities I had in high school.
So, today, in general, I am fine with the public school.
The kids are doing well.
I think they still long for the small family feel of their private school, but they have adjusted.
But, sometimes I just can't shake the feeling to keep them home.
Like when I drop off a forgotten lunch with a lady at the front desk and I "request" to wait and see my kid when they come to pick it up.
I get kinda defensive.
Who is she? uh, a nice lady.
But she isn't their mom.
I get melancholy real quick when I wave to the kids on the bus and for a second they don't smile.
They need me.
I helped out with the PTO and watched from a window as my son played outside during recess. He looked tired.
I wanted to take him home.
I wanted to say, "Who is that buddy?", "Is that a new friend"?
But I asked him when he got home instead and he wasn't quite sure whom I was speaking of.
And these cold days.
Stay home kids- sleep in- we can school a little later- I would say.
Instead of Wear your leggings under your pants and make sure you have your gloves- make sure your coat is zippered.
I love you.
Mom loves you as she stays in a warm house with your little brother and you go off to school.
I am blessed to have stayed home with all of them and they all know I stayed with each of them until they went to kindergarten, but I think some of the younger ones still feel bad that I stay home with the little guy.
The time goes so fast.
And the school day is so long.
So, by the time they come home, they have just enough time for a snack, homework, dinner, a bath and maybe a little playtime.
These thoughts of wanting to keep them close are always swimming around in my mind and then Christmas vacation happened.
I just need to know, Where do boys get their energy from?
As the vacation came to a close, I jokingly told my husband when the kids have their next vacation I might very well need a nanny to help out.
Later, I shared this with my mom and also wondered aloud,
How do you go from wanting to homeschool, to wanting a nanny?
My mom said simply- Get a nanny that homeschools!
Why didn't I think of that?
Really though, all joking aside, this mom thing is rough.
If your not doing a thousand loads of laundry and trying to think of what to make for dinner for the 87 thousandth meal, you are missing your kids that you sent off to school.
I think the mind work and decision making trumps dirty laundry every. single. day.
What about you?
What's your biggest struggle as a mom?