Friday, July 22, 2011

On My Mind...

It is so sad I can't think about it.
I haven't experienced death much. I have been to a lot of wakes, but no burials.
I have never understood why people do not like hospitals and now I do.
Finding out that your loved one died.
Looking at walls with some chipped paint.
Being hot, so hot.
Crying and people staring at you.
Being put into a room to grieve so people will stop looking at you.
And someone hands you a box of tissues. I threw them out and hope I never see another box like it again.
Planning on telling my kids in a calm manner and crying as I tell them anyway.

It's so hard.
I can still hear my brother-in-law's voice in my head.
I can still hear him tease me- he did this a lot. :)
Looking through pictures, I am thankful for the time we had.

And all those things people say that sound so silly, come to mind,
Life is too short.
Life is but a vapor.
Live every day to the fullest.
Take nothing for granted.
At least we all loved each other.

I am so sad.
Being strong for the kids and the husband is hard and sometimes I cry.
Like driving home from the dentist with my daughter.
He won't see them grow up.

I am praying for my husband.
For my other brother-in-law who lost his best friend and brother in one.
For my aunt who is trying to help as much as she can.
For all the family we are about to see.
For my father-in-law who is speechless.

But, mostly for my mother-in-law who shouldn't have to grieve for her son.
I pray that one day in the future she will have a good day and not be sad.
I know God can do anything and he will get her, us and everyone through this horrible time.
I just have to remind myself.

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6 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for you and your families loss. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  2. I am so sorry. Please know that I will be praying for you and your family.

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  3. I am so very sorry for your loss. So very sorry. I will be praying for peace & comfort for you and your family through this time.

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  4. I am sooooo sorry for this loss. I know the feeling of losing someone so close. The loss of that relationship. It feels so unbearable sometimes. Only God can heal the feeling that is left. I will be praying for you and everyone in your family.
    May God hold you in His arms and comfort all of you through this.

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  5. I have watched you grow from a child into the wonderful woman of God that you are today.
    You were a bright spot in his life and are a bright ray of sunshine in his families' life.
    I picture how different his life would have been if his brother had not met you and you guys didn't give him 4 amazing nieces and nephews.
    May God show you the glory He will receive from such a horribly sad event.
    Praying and praying some more...
    Love you hugely.

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  6. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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