Sunday, June 26, 2011


I am wondering about popularity...
Do we want our kids to have friends?
A couple?
A lot?
Just one best friend?
Should they be friends with the popular kids or off to the side with the "bookish" ones?

What's the best thing for our kids?

I am often quick to tell my daughter that she needs to be with the family, she needs to spend time with us while she tries to make "playdates" or rather "hangs out" with her friends whenever she can.

Isn't this important too?

Or so I am starting to think it is.

I want my daughter to have friends that are like minded.
Friends that know about the Lord or are interested in being closer to Him.
Girls that want to wait to have "boyfriends" and not jump into dating at 13.

At times she goes through things with her friends- someone saying something not so nice or one friend telling another friend something about a third and I turn to her and so want to tell her, it gets better, but it just doesn't.

Girls are difficult and so is having girlfriends. Even for us women.
So, I guess I want her to have friends that she can trust and have her back.
I want her to get along with all different girls and not be upset when some of her friends get together and do not invite her every time.

It doesn't bother her because she has other friends.

I also pray she'll be the one to smile real big at the new girl in school or in youth group or in Sunday school and maybe they will feel welcomed.

And for right now, the best way I can think of to teach her these things- {being friendly/welcoming, positive in her friendships and being a good friend} is by modeling it myself.

What about you?
Got any older kids?
What did you do with them?

Or got any good ideas?
Is popularity important?

I'd like to know.

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  1. I have no baby 's only one, but I already wonder what his life will be like once he's in school.

    I think you're right that girls are different though, and it's hard to have girl friends even as we get older. We're so emotional!

    It sounds like you're doing the right thing and teaching her good lessons, though!

  2. I would much prefer for my daughter to have a few good friends than lots of not so good friends! I am with you with the waiting on having a boyfriend too :)

  3. One thing is for sure. Boys are much easier to raise in my opionion. My 21 year old daughter had a terrible time with friends. She was what you would consider a part of the popular group but those girls were mean and she was bullied quite often in school. My son who is 19 had no problems at all in school with friends. My 14 year old daughter is a home body. She has a few friends but she prefers just to stay away and out of all the drama. She has told me it is just terrible.

    Not sure how or why but all of my children have or are considered a part of the popular crowd. In my world I wish my girls friends were not so petty about everything. I wish they had more of my sons and his friends attitudes.

    I like the way things are going right now for my youngest. She is home a lot but has a few friends she spends time with.

    I really feel it depends on your childs personality and what they can handle when it comes to friends etc. My oldest was not able to as easily seperate herself from drama where as my youngest has no problem at all.

  4. This is something that I think about too. My oldest is 8 and I think that we are just getting in to all of it. It is all so hard.

  5. Having these honest conversations about being friendly to all but choosing close friends with consideration to their character is one that can not start too early in a child's life.
    Making our kids aware of how the kids that aren't "popular" might be feeling is a good way to make them aware of something they might not consider.
    So friendly to all,close friends with few sounds good to me.


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