Friday, February 18, 2011

The Girl From School

So, on one of these glorious no make-up, crazy hair days this week, I see a girl from high school in the grocery store. I carefully calculated how to get out of there without confrontation, but alas, I looked up at the wrong time and couldn't act like I didn't recognize her.
She, unlike yours truly, looked exactly the same. Beautiful. Long, straight black hair, make-up perfect with a cute little boy who was whispering quietly to her. And then as we got closer she had all of those recyclable bags that the grocery store gives you 5 cents to use. And they were all the same kind. Like she decided to be kind to the earth and bought 15 of them for $2 each. Amazing.
My boys, who are always good when we are out (they really are), were of course, cranky. They had both been sick and just didn't feel like being in the shopping cart.
We made small talk as we walked to our cars.
She was honestly, very sweet and genuine.
And then, in my humiliation of bumping into her looking terrible, I did something I loathe.
I bragged.
I told her, her son was adorable- which was true.
And in return she said so are mine- which I will say is also true- hey, I'm partial.
Then I said "my girls are in school". Which is also truth, but totally unnecessary. She never asked how many kids I had or where are my other kids.
What was I trying to say?
I have four kids- give me a medal.
I have an excuse to be overweight- hey - I got four kids.
I am super mom- I have four kids.
I am important because I have four kids.
Pathetic.
Simply pathetic.
She was nice and said "Oh wow, 4 kids!"
It was like I was outside of my body looking down, saying, "Shut up! Stop talking!"
Have you ever been at the supermarket and a woman says loudly to her 3 kids, we have to go get your brother and sister from the bus stop? As if she really wants to say, "Hey, look over here, I have 5 kids!"
Those people usually drive me crazy.
But I was one of them.
Talk about coming from a place of insecurity.
We walked to our cars- both black- hers clean, cool new SUV. Mine- dirty with a mental note that I should clean the thing.
I tried not to open the door on her side or else she might actually see the floor of the van- I won't even go there- but let's just say I recently found an apple core and I am not sure when the last time I ate an apple was.
She even had really cool red rosary beads hanging from her mirror.
What do I want with rosary beads?
But it looked cool.
Later, I thought, what a waste of time!
Instead of inviting her to the mom's group at church or spreading God's love, I could only concentrate on superficial things.
The other day my son said, "Mom, do you ever wish you could change something that you did before?"
Yeah son, I do. I really do.

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5 comments:

  1. A similar thing happend to me not long ago and I too tried to avoid "seeing" the girl from high school. I left feeling like I was the most awkward person in the world.

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  2. Im sorry Chatty- I didnt mean to make u feel insecure!! lol just kidding- stop beating yourself up and ask God for another opportunity to witness to her- ..."you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you" John 15:7 this includes time to clean the van!!! lol xoxo :)

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  3. I love your post. I think we all struggle with this. I usually feel the need to justify my life, why? It's mine. and I love it.

    I really appreciate your honesty!

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  4. I also have had this experience except I DID avoid the person and she apparently KNEW it and sent me hate email afterward(although, I still can't figure out how she knew I was avoiding her when she obviously avoided me also!)
    Anyway... I wish I could take that back - I really didn't represent myself very well that day. =(

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  5. I have four kids too. Us people with four kids rock ;)

    I'm following from bloggy moms.

    ecwrites.blogspot.com

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