Saturday, February 20, 2010


So here's the deal- I do not have a problem if you have facebook. It is your choice. But here is why I do not have facebook:

1. The husband and I graduated with a class of 600. If I were to go on and join, all those people would be "friending" me. I know, I know- everyone tells me I can ignore them- but if I did that those people who I might bump into (and we do bump into a lot of people because we still live in the town we grew up in), they might question the cold shoulder and brush off.

2. I feel that if me and the husband were to get facebook accounts, it could pose a problem to our marriage. I have seen a lot of wives talking to guys from high school and a lot of husbands talking to girls. Maybe it is all harmless, but I have never been real big on having friends of the opposite sex within the confines of marriage. The husband is not a jealous type, but mainly because he has no reason to be and I would like to keep it that way.

3. I can sometimes get addicted to things that take me away from things that I need to attend to - such as housecleaning, cooking, organizing, etc. I am one of those people who will sit down at the computer and not realize I sat for 3 hours - I need to limit myself and I do not think being on facebook would be a positive thing for me.

4. I find most people that I want to be in contact with on a regular basis, I already am through old fashioned methods such as church, the kids school or the telephone. And even email - not so old fashioned. If on facebook, I would really just be lurking for gossipy dirt on people and some pictures on people that have gained more weight than I after having kids- not healthy, but sadly true.

5. My major problem with Facebook- PEOPLE keep your kids off of it or if you are so inclined to let them on- follow what they are doing. Our whole church has become members of facebook and I have signed on under a friend's password and saw 12 year old girls on there. Ok - so their parents are ok with it. But as I looked at their friends- I saw not only their peers from youth group, but men from our church. Single men, married men, fathers of their friends, friends of their fathers. Why? Because once you list your church affliation, people feel the need to befriend all the people from church. Do you want your daughter talking to men? If we would not let our daughters pick up the phone to call a man or for some of us, we would not allow them to call a male peer- isn't facebook the same thing? Making contact with people we have not said ok to.
Many Christian parents are saying - I control this because it is in my house- but do you?
I saw one young man with a bunch of friends from his high school. One picture of one of his friends, was 2 girls with very low cut shirts on. That picture as we well know can be changed everyday or every hour, whenever the girl wants to. So if the parents of this young man sign on and see the pic one day, it can be very different the next day. Should a young man be staring at such a pic? Don't we go through great lengths to keep our kids away from such pics?

I'll be honest though- It is very hard when the pastor is saying - check out facebook later and you can see the pics from VBS or the church picnic and I do not have an account. Or how about friends getting pregnant and announcing it on facebook, newborn baby pics, or hospital updates from a sickly church member. I have thought of possibly getting a joint account with the husband (the only way I would ever sign up), but then think what about the kids? Will they want an account too when they reach a certain age? I need to be a role model for them as well.

Just something for you to think about from thechattymommy....

P.S.- I hate facebook!


  1. Very good points.I wish we didn't have one.EVERYONE "friended" us.Brian got it when he came home from Afghanistan to keep in touch with the amazes each time we get on to see what people say/do on there.We started to get on more often last month, because our Pastor was also saying, "get on Facebook..."Maybe there's something to this???
    I loved what you said about friendships/marriage.Glad we aren't the only ones who see things that way.

  2. I really wish you would be on FB. You have very valid points but I still say sign up. Its not only a great way to keep in touch with dear friends out of state (ME!!) but a great platform for witnessing as well.
    Hubby and I are under one account and hold each other accountable for all friend requests and comments. It has worked great. We also recently went thru our list and unfriended many. Only close people/church people now have a glimpse on our profile.
    As for the kids, well it stinks that many pple don't monitor. We do. Our kids are older and try to maintain a good balance between right and wrong. I don't want the internet taboo for them,instead teach them proper use with STRICT monitoring. As for examples... Well, sometimes kids need to realize your an adult with different privileges then them. Theres nothing wrong with it so you wouldn't be setting a bad example, its just for older people and since they are not older its none of their business. Simple as that. I have told my kids many times that certain things are for certain ages so don't ask again until your THAT age! =)
    Sigh... just wishing I could quickly get in touch with you when I don't have time for the phone is all. Or better yet, just move down here =)

  3. I had a very unfortunate thing happen on fb and I cancelled my account PRONTO - never to have one again! And, I survive fine. I am anti-fb as well. We're the minority, though. I'm a women's ministry leader, and I've seen more marriages break up over "friendships" that started out as friendships and evolved into emotional affairs and sometimes physical affairs - both kinds shatter marriages...oftentimes to the point of divorce. Not good. If grown people cannot handle so much socializing, I wonder if our children can?

  4. Good thinkin' Chatty Momma.

    I'm glad to know I'm not the only one in this century not to have a face book account ;-)
    I think blogging offers the opportunity to share everything you want to share (as far as a witness is concerned, and letting others see into YOUR life). It's not as popular maybe, but worth the effort. You are right about how easy it is to get sucked in to things we know better than to be sucked in to.


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